Just a quick one

Hey mum,
Hope your ok, been to see Gran this morning, she is really not well all all, she's started shaking a lot and she showed me letters from the docs, I don't know what to say, you would be better at this stuff than me, dad is being a right insensitive jerk!! Gran is really upset by the whole thing, I can see why, he doesn't seem to realise that although he might not care, everyone else is still grieving for you, well he might be grieving in how own weird way but I can't believe for a second he genuinely thinks you would be ok with all the stuff he is doing and buying. It's like he thinks he has a second chance to be 20 and abandon all his responsibilities. I havent spoken to him properly in 2 weeks, I'm gutted, I thought we would end up close, we haven't, if anything we are less close, It has made me closer to gran at least, she is awesome, I'm so proud of them but it must be so hard!!
Work is crap, I can't remember if I already told you we didn't get the ESF funding, looks bad for me keeping my job, I'm sure you would tell me it will work out for the best but I'm finding it hard to accept that, plus I'm not sure what to do for the best, should I apply for jobs or stay in the hope that more funding will come?? What if it doesn't?? Or worse, what if it does and I have already left?? Stupid crappy recession, I hate it!! And I hate that I can't ask you for advice in the middle of it!!
Jam is applying for lots of jobs, he is awesome, really trying, he's been locked in his room for the last 2 days doing uni work, well he might be wanking but I'm pretty sure its uni work :p
Really really missing you mum!!!
Love you a billion.
Xxxxxxxxxxx


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