Emotions

Emotions are funny things aren't they, normally I cry all the time and now, when I really want to, when I really want the chance to experience all the emotions I feel - I can't. I want to have a good cry and feel relief that I finally handed in my MA work, I worked so hard I deserve a bit of a relief cry!! I, so mad at Kat, I want to do a shouty cry and I'm ridiculously upset I can't tell you any of this face to face that I want a proper cry!!!
It's silly. James said he hated me to make my cry but I know it's not true, ive not KNOWN that before you died, I just trust him now. He's ace!!!
Rik was amazing with me today, I think I would have thrown my ipad at a wall and given up on MA work if it wasn't for him. I'm lucky!!!
I think maybe things aren't that bad, perhaps that's why it's hard to cry :)
Mum I love you, you are inspirational, I can't remember the amount of times I have said to myself that I can do my MA, you did a degree with cancer, of course I can do this!! I miss you more than anything, I am so sorry for all the times I hurt or upset you, you never deserved and you were always wonderful. Thinking about the time I used chicken breasts for a weekday tea, and you apologized for shouting, even though you were just trying to feed us. You looked sad, I'm sorry.
Please come back or give me a sign or a hug....pleeease.
Love you millions.xxxxxx


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Bed